At Least You Left Your Life In Style

After watching the documentary on The Stone Roses reunion...it only seemed fitting that this should be titled as such.  Plus...if you think about it...it's what we're all tryin' to do here - go out in a blaze of glory...styled out to the max...at the top of our game!  So to those four lads from Manchester...nice line, I'll take it!

I finally found some people willing to go on jobs and run various races.  Boy, that is refreshing.  For a while there it was a strictly kill or be killed type of situation.  Not that that is unpleasant.  It's nice to start a job and not just sit there while no one accepts your offer.  It really is a lot of fun to join up with a bunch of other idiots and see what kind of mayhem you can accomplish...together.  This all started because I was invited out to the country for a game of 'survival'.  Now this is a great game.  You and you teammates fight against multiple waves of enemies.  There are supplies around to keep you alive and armored.  If you can get at least four of you to fight together...it really is one of the best things about GTA Online.

No point in committing suicide when you can abandon it all and move out here.

But seriously...I have daydreams more often than I'd like to admit of packing absolutely nothing up and moving out to the desert to pump gas, drink beer and write of wild days gone by.  Big sky country.  For sure.

One of the great things about teaming up with other players is that you get RP bonuses.  This is a good thing.  Regardless of the obnoxious amounts of money that I've been gifted...I still have tons of stuff to unlock.  And fortunately for me...I hit a level, somewhere in the mid twenties, that unlocked the 'sticky bomb'.  This is like a grenade.  But it sticks to stuff and allows you to detonate from afar.  When I got back to the city I stumbled upon a traffic jam on the freeway.  And right smack dab in the middle of this...a tanker truck.  

Lots of collateral damage.

Instant 3 star wanted level.  Amazing.  Be on the lookout for trucks like this.  They're easy to spot and this is a lot of fun.  I just sort of fell into the bonus of the truck being right in the middle of a giant mess of traffic on the freeway.  Now this is probably a rare occurrence but if you do find one of these trucks...the explosion is so huge...it'll be worth your while regardless of what surrounds it.

Smells like burnt hippy.

After I bolted from the cops...I made my way back to Ammunation.  I needed to stock back up on rounds and armor.  This is a regular occurrence...unlike my 'gift' of said traffic clotting.  And something that occurs regularly as well...people outside of these necessary establishments...talkin' sh*t.

Nope.  Guess again.

This particular trip afforded me many liquor store photo ops so you'll have to bear with me.  These places are great and plentiful.  And they're particularly good for spotting the more colorful inhabitants of Los Santos.

Friends!  Before we go any further...let's be...

See that dude behind me with the gray hair and beard?  I've seen this cat everywhere.  He's old and stumbly and drunk.  And featured in the opening credits of the game when playing 'story mode'.  He mumbles a lot.  When I lived in Ohio there was a guy who used to walk up and down our street asking for change and cigarettes.  His name was Phil.  That was one hilarious dude.  Gentile and pleasant.  But lost in his own crazy world.  We had no idea where he spent his nights or how he functioned day to day...other than trolling 5th Street for beer money.  He had a very unique way of talking and pronouncing (or should I say slurring) his words.  He became a folk hero of sorts and is remembered to this day by more than just your humble narrator.  So...here's to you, Phil...immortalized, over my left shoulder, in Grand Theft Auto!

Popular spot.

This is yet another thing that I enjoy doing here is this sick world.  Whenever I roll past a place with a ton of people hanging outside...the temptation is just too great.  I can't help myself...

Not anymore.

This lead to yet another, eventual spat with the cops.  I know that it's going to go down like this.  But, I tell ya...this city is changing me.  I try to fight it.  I really do.  But unfortunately...I ate the apple.

Bloodied, The Wiser.

That would be a great name.  Like Ivan The Terrible.  Or Frodo The Brave.  Or whatever the hell they called him.  Bloodied The Wiser.  I like that.  Not sure how much wiser I am.  Since I find myself in a blood soaked suit more often than not.  Both my stamina and driving skills are at or near 100%.  But my shooting is still relatively low.  That's why I have to get the jump on people or it's a an unfair fight.  Especially since I'm usually going at them with a lower grade weapon.  Surprise and timing is everything.

Sunrise.  Sunset.  Whatever.

Whichever that may be...the vistas never disappoint.  And neither do the people that walk the streets.  If I could only remember some of the sh*t that comes out of their mouths...  

Lots of these in the ghetto.  Big shocker.

I get a lot of 'get the f*ck out of here' and 'you don't belong here' kind of responses in East Los Santos. 

Big girls blouse

Like these guys below.  They're far less aggressive.  And therefor far more targetable...

Workin' pa nub...

And unfortunately for them...this afternoon...I was a bit on edge...

....in all the wrong places...

Right after I snapped this photo I got bushwacked by an opponent.  Now I don't usually mind this.  I did have a bounty on my head so I can't really blame them for hunting me down.  But what really gets my goat is when they've wacked me and scooped up their (my) money...they top it off by stealing my car. 

Gonna need some booze for this hunt.

This happens rarely.  But when it does...and I finally find them...they pay with their life.  But my car...my poor f*cking car.  Thankfully Los Santos Customs makes a repair quick and easy.  I still can't help but feeling a bit abused.  Like someone touched me in my bathing suit area...

My f*cking whites...

Karma is alive and well and living in Los Santos.  Just ask this lady...

'I done never smoke a crack a day in my life.  I feel malificent'

The homeless / drug & alcohol addicted population in Los Santos is unendingly amusing.  It would be great if these hackers broke into the game and brought all of these people to life ala 'Dawn Of The Dead'...and then had them attack everyone online.  Man, that'd be great.  Instead they give me a bunch of money that I'll never spend.  Wow.  Creative.  And speaking of creative...

Look at them nudie mags!

This final bit that I leave with you was sort of stumbled upon randomly.  When you get into really behaving badly...your wanted level will increase depending upon the severity of your 'expression'.  That's all well and good if you feel like running...or if you feel like standing your ground and duking it out with the fuzz.  The problem is that once you hit three stars...in comes the air support.  And once you hit four stars...you ain't got long to live.  But...if you can find yourself something with cover...preferably with overhead cover...and preferably with only one entry point...you can have yourself quite the lengthy, multi-star firefight.

This is how it began...

When barricading yourself into one of these stores...make sure to pick one with diagonal shelving.  Some of the store have rows of shelving that give no cover at all as they are in line with the entryway.  No cover.  No bueno.  Pick the middle row.  Take cover.  They'll be coming right through the front door...

Deep into it.  SWAT team looming...

It really will go on and on.  And if you time it right...you can make a call to have your wanted level removed...and then walk out to observe the carnage.  And steal one of those cool, black SUVs if ya wanna...

Almost.

Without fail...someone gets caught in the crossfire.  And if you're looking to document the carnage...chose wisely...more often than not...when you pull up your camera...one of these dudes comes through the door.  

The sun sets...on the LSPD.

Calling off your wanted level is a nice feature...albeit one that more often than not feels like a cheat.

Caught in said crossfire...

This was her about 15 minutes ago...just mindin' her own business...lookin' to get lit...

Never to return.

Whew.  That about ends that one.  Took me forever to piece together.  I'm notorious for starting things and never finishing them.  Although I did make some killer mix tapes back in the day.  But they started really strong and finished really strong...in the middle they always seemed a bit slow going.  Hopefully the next one will pick up...if you found this one a bit sluggish...but if you didn't...thanks!!

(Post script:  I decided to create a crew.  Just for the fun of it.  Not really sure what it'll do for me.  Hopefully some people will join.  That'd be cool.  Feel free to come on board if you feel like it.)

TEAM STUKA