Snowmaggedon

Rockstar decided to give us all a Christmas present in the form of snow in Los Santos and Blaine County for the entire day.  I almost missed the boat as I thought the snow was going through January 5th.  But at the last minute, I double checked and was able to get in a timely session to report on the snowy goings-on throughout San Andreas.  I hope that you find this enjoyable.  I sure did...dashing through the snow and whatnot.  In retrospect, I'm glad it was for one day only as driving in this stuff was kind of like real life...dangerous and annoying.  But it sure looked good...

This beenie came in useful.

I decided to immediately head for the country.  Under a sort of time constraint, I wanted to get as far away from other possible opponents so I could take my photographs in peace.  I didn't even bother with 'passive mode'.  I figured that if someone wanted to kill me...I'd just jot their names down and deal with them after I got down with some artful documentation...

Not much action here in wintertime.  But that seems to be the case regardless of season.

There was a tank on the highway heading up to Blaine County.  I evaded him quite nicely with a few shells exploding around me.  He was in full-on tank-nerd-rampage mode.  Plus...look at that car.  Even in the snow...I can break out in a moments notice.  Although I did immediately notice this dude following me...

Sorry bro...I don't do truckstops.  What?  Shh...

He wouldn't leave me alone.  But he didn't attack me either.  Odd.  I decided right then and there to go into 'passive mode'.  Lest he shoot me while I'm getting all Annie Leibovitz on some snowy mountain action.

There is no God in GTA.  Hence only one set of footprints.

The guy in the red car eventually gave up.  He rear ended me when I stopped suddenly.  I lept out of my car, weapon drawn.  Perhaps that was what scared him away.  Nope.  I turned around...

This muthaf*cka.

Luckly I was in 'passive mode'.  I thought he realized that too because he hovered long enough for me to pop off a few snaps.  And then came in for a closer look...

Out for blood.

Then this dumb sh*t decides to test me with a rocket.  Perhaps he was camera shy...

Check the car.  Center frame.  That's an upside down charred corpse.

Silly fool shot his rocket into the car behind me which was way, way too close to his chopper.  I saw him a few minutes later after he respawned.  We stared at each other for a minute and then he ran off into the woods.  After than it got pretty quiet.  Which was nice.  My objective was to not play WWIII in the streets tonight...my objective was to document the snowy landscapes.  Priorities.

Darwin's Waiting Room

You know what there are a lot of in Los Santos?  Liquor stores.  You know what they don't have in Los Santos?  Children.  Is this heaven, you ask?  Why yes, my friends, it is.  It dawned on me after a while...you never see any kids here.  Thankfully.  For multiple reasons.  You do find your fair share of old people.  I like that.  There is also a plentiful supply of hookers here in Los Santos.  Yes, it is heaven.  And in the name of good sport and past indiscretions...I've decided to stop my car and photograph every liquor store that I find.  And there are many.  And maybe a few of the hookers along the way too.

They even work on Christmas.

Found a nice little starter home in the country.  I wonder how much it was actually going for.  Nice location.  Quiet.  Away from the gangs and the rap music that they play out of those boomboxes.

Smelled like cat pee.

But seriously folks...this is the northern most point on the map.  You really can get away from it all here.  It is quiet and peaceful.  I didn't hear one siren the whole time.

Patriotism.  Dope.

There is also a surprisingly large number of pay phones throughout Los Santos.  Man, I kind of miss those things.  Jamming your finger in the coin slot as you walked by in hopes of discovering a forgotten quarter.  Or those beat-up phone books dangling from that (seemingly) unbreakable cord.

I called everyone...collect.

Up this far north you can get stunning views of the highest point in Los Santos - Mount Chiliad.

Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

I made my way back into the city.  I wanted to get a few skyline views and some perspective from the highest point downtown.  So I opened up my cell phone and called for a helicopter.  Yes, in my spending spree I bought a helicopter.  You call a number on your phone and then they deliver it to the nearest helipad...which is located on the roof of the hospital in East Los Santos.  It's convenient.  And it's just a regular 'ol helicopter.  No rockets or guns or anything like that.  Good for quick, fast and easy transport.  And not much else.  But it's really the only way to get this high...

Other than smoking angel dust.  What?  Shh...

I decided that the best way down would be to jump.  With parachute.  Jumping w/o is fun sometimes too.  It says that you've 'committed suicide'.  So frank.  But this time I took the safe way...

Diversity.  Dope.

I actually landed on another rooftop and then plunged to my death.  Too bad I couldn't photograph that.  In fact, that would be a really great option...if you could somehow get pictures of you dying in various ways.  I guess if you were rolling with someone else...they could photograph you.  But I have no friends.  Kidding.

Allow me to digress and speak for a moment about Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.  This game was revolutionary.  Way, way ahead of it's time.  It was like GTA V...only smaller.  But, at the time, it was the biggest thing ever...in both gameplay and the actual size of the world.  It was great!  You had four distinct locals...equivalents of San Francisco, Los Angeles and Las Vegas.  I can't say enough.  But if you're reading this you more than likely already know about San Andreas...and Vice City (which might be a personal favorite - I grew up on 'Miami Vice').  Moving on...one of my absolute favorite things to do in GTA SA was to run down the street, full gallop...cock my fist back and punch people in the back of the head.  I don't know why...but I could have every weapon at my disposal...rocket launcher, samurai sword, gatling gun...they all paled in comparison to running up behind someone and unexpectedly decking them in the back of the skull.  I wish that I could do this in real life.  I must admit...I would find little equivalent satisfaction.

Old habits die hard.

I think she was spoutin' some bullsh*t on her cell phone.  I might have bumped into her and she made some sort of snide comment.  Or maybe I just snuck up on her and laid her out.  Guilty as charged.

Better get one a dem rubba bags!

I came as a photojournalist.  A war correspondent.  A peaceful man.  I'm going to leave a cold blooded killer.  Just like our American prison system.  Ain't it grand!?!

'Nuff said.

I f*cking love these places.  I wish that I could buy all of them in Los Santos.  Who needs a 10 car garage when you own every freakin' liquor store in the greater metropolitan area?  See 'bout that!!

That dude with the red visor?  Curiosity killed the cat.

This next one is completely self indulgent.  Of all the cars that I own...I still prefer the first one that I appropriated after I landed in Los Santos.  The Übermacht Oracle Coupe.  Solid car.  Heavier ass end...so taking turns during getaways keeps you on the road and not flying into the side of a buidling...and dying.

Don't know what you heard about me...

Night fell and the eventual street battles ensued.  These people never give up.  But...when you've walked about this city enough...and felt the sudden wrath of a complete stranger...it makes you shoot first and ask questions...well...never.  So I take these opponents with a grain of salt...they can't be all bad.  Some of them are just trying to survive.  Tryin' to keep their d*ck hard in a cruel and harsh world.

Speaking of which...

This city really has it all.  Hookers.  Gotta love it.  And sometimes you can find them out in the daytime.  Money never sleeps.  But not only hookers.  Junkies too...

Night Of The Living Dead

This next pic just might be my favorite so far.  It's arty and pretentious.  But also haunting and just plain great...if I do say so myself...

And speaking of San Andreas...I think that I found CJ's house on Grove Street.  He's long gone.  But as you know...just because you are a character doesn't mean that you have character.  And just because you have sex in the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.  What?  Shh...

Grove Street!

Dangerous here.  I've said it before.  One squeeze of the trigger, one signature! punch to the back of the head...the gangs swarm.  Make this white boy look real sissy.

Don't stop til I get enough!

Speaking of favorite photos...

9:04 AM

This chick smelled bad.  But a brilliant conversationalist.  And now trusted friend.

Cockdieseldrunk

I f*cking love this city.  Did I say that already?  Man, can't say it enough.  Other than the random killings...this would be a great place to disappear into...for say...10 years.  That was about the length of my drinking habit.  Same thing really if you think about it.

Asian motifs.  Dope.

I've been giving serious thought to downsizing my apartment and going back to a garage only type situation.  Since I didn't earn the money.  Since it was given to me.  But every time that I do...I find myself missing this part of the city.  I've grown very fond of it.  And you know...it's all about location location location...

Impressive.  Most impressive.

Well...that's probably more than you can stomach in one sitting.  The snow was awesome.  Glad that they did it.  This game and place is really something to marvel.  I leave you with a few parting shots...tranquil photos in an otherwise violent world...

Quiet streets.

It really put an air of silence over the city.  Like it does when you go out late at night after a snowstorm...

A View To A Kill

I will say this here...the snow was great.  But I love it when it rains too!  The weather is such a great added element.  You can also see lightning out in the country/desert.  Very cool!

Peace sells.  Who's buyin'?

Minutes after this shot I got into it with the police.  You can only go so long before you eventually tussle with Johnny Law...

Handsome.

So...that's it.  I hope that you enjoyed this holiday edition.  Back to the usual blood and carnage next time.  That'll be up soon.  Oh...and before I forget...gotta give a shot out to Patches42.  This is a great photo!